Loneliness

All along i have been saying i do not wish to get married. Settled down without the paper is also alright with me. Having said that, i still wish to have a companion who has been missing in my life for a long time.

I was never the popular girl, in school and in my working life. My personality just dont attract guys, neither does my appearance. When I have something to focus on, I do not feel the loneliness. But when loneliness hit me with a punch, my heart feels so empty esp when i was listening to sad or love songs, watching love shows or reading love stories. The feeling of loneliness can be so overwhelm that i will doubt my presence and life. Deeming myself  a failure when it comes to relationship, be it any kind of relationship.

Even my relationship with my ex ( if he is considered as 1) was a failure with me maintaining the long distance relationship one sided and he missing in actions.

Will i ever get the chance to meet my soulmate? Will i be growing old alone with no companionship? Am i that bad as a human that i do not have a chance in a real relationship?

..........

XOXO

Lovecafe